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New Writing Gig At Above Average!

I just began writing for another website in addition to my Huffington Post writing gig. The website is called AboveAverage, very funny site that has had guests including Jay Pharaoh from SNL. Here’s my first article on their site (here’s the link: https://aboveaverage.com/new-govt-program-puts-anyone-wearing-shorts-in-winter-onto-watch-list/) . ORIGINAL! New Gov’t Program Puts Anyone Wearing Shorts In Winter Onto…

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“If I Don’t Make Eye Contact Then I Don’t Have To Give That Pregnant Woman My Seat”

First of all, there’s no 100% way to know she’s pregnant. Sure, her belly is completely out of proportion to her other limbs but I’m no doctor nor do I claim to be one. I’m accepting of all body types. But what if she’s pregnant? She’s not pregnant. Anyways, isn’t standing good for the baby?…

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Despite dwindling oxygen supply, astronauts refuse to return to Earth until after election

Astronauts Kate Rubins and Jeff Williams have postponed their return trip to Earth until after the U.S presidential elections in November. Rubens stated, “We’re going to stay up here until everyone calms the f*ck down a bit.” The oxygen supplies aren’t designed for an extended trip but co-pilot Williams said, “We’ll take our chances. Plus,…

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Colored Printer in All-White Office Jams in Solidarity With #BlackLivesMatter

A HP LaserJet Pro has been jammed all day at a local tech startup office. The printer is the only thing of color at the company and has stopped working in solidarity with several civil rights organizations. “It’s a powerful act of civil disobedience” said the HP LaserJet Pro. “I cannot stand printing anymore Anchorman…

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Millennials Will Survive Climate Change

Oscar-nominated , Josh Fox, recently released his most recent work saying that it’s too late to prevent apocalyptic climate change (just in time for the North American climate meeting). Fox states that sea levels will rise, entire states and nations will disappear into the depths, and several species, potentially our own, are doomed to disappear quicker than a…

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