I Think I Invested Too Much Time Into Mastering The Recorder


A quiet dread and unease gripped Marcus Bradley, 37, in the third hour of his daily recorder practice when he thought maybe he’s put too much effort into learning the wind instrument.


“I started playing in 3rd grade music class like everyone else” said Marcus, “but when everyone else stopped playing or lost their recorders I kind of just, you know, kept playing. The kids would be playing at recess I’d be inside on account of my practicing the recorder.”

While staring out the the window of his studio apartment, shivering from the lack of heat, Marcus realized the recorder has brought him nothing but pain. He tried to gain a musical scholarship to Brown but was unsuccessful as the jazz band instructor said, “Who the hell would want to listen to that shit?”


Marcus slowly laid his recorder in his practice case while remembering his time at Westminster Community College. “I saw some guys woo ladies with a guitar on the quad. But apparently girls don’t like it when you slide a recorder out of your pocket and start to play for them in the common room.” Marcus said that he plans to practice again tomorrow for some reason.