Political Would You Rather


We are given options in this life. Should I have yogurt or cereal for breakfast? Should I go out or stay in? Should I apologize for accidentally sending a dick pic to my boss or send three more in order to establish dominance? Choice is seen as a great freedom but it can also be a major burden, especially in a political context. As always, I’m trying to help you. I have gathered the almost infinite number of choices we are faced with everyday and narrowed them down to simple, binary options.

Would you rather…

Read a speech to your college/office written by Sarah Palin (you cannot explain yourself to anyone after)


Have Donald Trump write love letter’s to your crush

Be a fish in the Flint river


Be the only woman living in a fraternity house

Be the moderator at the Republican debates


Moderate your family’s holiday meal arguments

Always be as tired as Ben Carson


Always be as grumpy as Bernie Sanders

Have the survival chances of a Game of Thrones character


Have the survival chances of a black man in a routine police stop

Go on an all-expenses paid trip to the Bahamas with Ted Cruz


Eat your own hand

Wear an #AllLivesMatter t-shirt to the BET awards


Wear a #BlackLivesMatter t-shirt to a Republican convention