We are given options in this life. Should I have yogurt or cereal for breakfast? Should I go out or stay in? Should I apologize for accidentally sending a dick pic to my boss or send three more in order to establish dominance? Choice is seen as a great freedom but it can also be a major burden, especially in a political context. As always, I’m trying to help you. I have gathered the almost infinite number of choices we are faced with everyday and narrowed them down to simple, binary options.
Would you rather…
Read a speech to your college/office written by Sarah Palin (you cannot explain yourself to anyone after)
OR
Have Donald Trump write love letter’s to your crush
Be a fish in the Flint river
OR
Be the only woman living in a fraternity house
Be the moderator at the Republican debates
OR
Moderate your family’s holiday meal arguments
Always be as tired as Ben Carson
OR
Always be as grumpy as Bernie Sanders
Have the survival chances of a Game of Thrones character
OR
Have the survival chances of a black man in a routine police stop
Go on an all-expenses paid trip to the Bahamas with Ted Cruz
OR
Eat your own hand
Wear an #AllLivesMatter t-shirt to the BET awards
OR
Wear a #BlackLivesMatter t-shirt to a Republican convention
Randall Otis 