That’s What They Said

I’ve recently freelanced as a quote historian to determine the origins of several famous phrases.  Below lie the true story of behind the cliches.

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-Bros before hoes…said the gay frat boy

-There’s no love like a mother’s love…said Oedipus (now he’d say, “I love my mom…as a friend”)

-I’m not religious, I’m more spiritual…said the ineffective priest

-It’s not the number of breaths we take, but the number of moments that take our breath away…said the nervous asthmatic

-Dance like no one’s watching…said the unemployed ballerina

-Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars…said the unconfident NASA scientist

-God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle…said the Devil

-When there’s a will there’s a way…said Will

-Once you go black, you don’t go back…said the recently blinded man

-Real niggas don’t die, they multiply…said Shakespeare (I know, right?)

Bonus Advice:

-If you love someone, let them go…unless they’re in prison for murder, then they should probably stay in there